I will not cover in entirety the answer to the conondrumish subject but will simply highlight a couple of things.
The related question is ... How do you deal with people who for reasons of stupidity, selfishness, greed etc. keep hurting you or others, making life awkward to manoeuvre and making it very difficult to be near them in public situations ... let alone private??
Now... Understand that being hurt or abused comes in all shapes and sizes and for many reasons. There are many forms: people who manipulate friendship to get what they want -- people who physically hurt others... and everything in-between.
Let's be clear ... God loves the people we have grown to detest. God works and moves with a sea of paradoxes for the very particular purpose of drawing any and every type of person to Himself ... So that humanity can see, taste and feel the very close presence, love and kindness of God.
Any and every type of person.
God loves those we do not, those who hurt us and those who time after time make life awkward and a hard place to be comfortable in.
Let's be clear, God is for the losers. And by the way, that includes you and I.
Let's be honest.
But let's also be clear that while we are called to love and bless those who persecute us, turning the other cheek, forgiving like God does ... we are also called to freedom and to those who want to rob us of our God given freedom ... we can be free from them too. And by freedom from another, I mean, forgiving and loving in a way but not allowing or permitting them to do further harm.
That means distance. But it also means grace ... Time for healing and time for the abuser to get help. Perhaps the offender can not be helped completely ... It still needs to be the heart of the path forward. Often times there needs to be a third party involved here to ensure progress and boundaries in both parties.
I think its important too, to realize that as people on the outside of a particular awkward or offensive relationship or even in it ...there are situations where the 'offended' is the one being selfish and greedy. Deception is a play. Love is not present. Patience is absent. ... So if you are involved, ask yourself if you're being fair and allow someone else to answer that for you too. Sometimes a persons goal is to have a problem free life or to be surrounded by people who are not problematic and the first idiot that comes their way... well they work hard to avoid and judge, often making the situation more awkward, obvious, messy and complicated. Essentially, love has not been the response.
Lets face it, we all carry baggage that causes us to walk, react and interact with life in sometimes less than gracious ways.
So be fair and seek fairness.
Also, make grace central. Work with people how you would want to be worked withon your worse day.
If you are the offender, seek forgiveness but never force acceptance or reintegration. This will take time and wisdom from those you have hurt and those helping them manoeuvre through the pain or awkwardness.
Remember... God loves the people we have grown to detest. God works and moves with a sea of paradoxes for the very particular purpose of drawing any and every type of person to Himself ... So that humanity can see, taste and feel the very close presence, love, generosity and kindness of God.
Grace
Shane
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
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